15 fastest ways of getting on the bad side of a Cabin Crew

1) The first commandment says: “thou shall not lift bags"

Would you still find me attractive with bent back and broken arms? Sorry, we are not being wicked or nonchalant; our rules really say we aren’t allowed to lift your luggage into the overhead bin for you, though we can “assist”.

well as you can see, i also need someone to carry my bag

2) Keep others in mind

Recline your seat back gently so you don’t spill the drink of the person seating behind or even spoil their laptop, please keep your shoe on if you have smelly feet. And yes! You can’t sleep if you snore loudly and have saliva drooling all over. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Mayday! Mayday!!!

3). Come well-equipped

 If you have a baby, BRING DIAPERS. Don’t turn me to a beggar onboard, or make me try to create a diaper out of a sanitary towel…it’s not part of my job description…… how will that even work?

distinguished ladies and gentleman, anyone with spare diapers plz?

4) We are not your maids

Want to start off on the wrong foot with a cabin crew? Put your carry-on luggage in a full overhead bin, leave it sticking out, then take your seat at the window and wait for someone else (me!) to come along and fix it.

are we hotties or maids? make up your mind already.

5) Don’t poke, grab or ‘siiiiii’ me!

No one likes to be poked, but it’s even worse on the plane because you’re sitting down and we’re not, so it’s usually in a very personal area. You poke me, I ignore you! Please always Make use of the call button, or use the classic “excuse me”.

'nuff said!

6). I am not a kindergarten class teacher

Passengers are always coming up with one complain or the other. ”Can you tell him to put his seat up?” “She won’t share the armrest.”  can you tell the baby to stop wailing? ''can you ask him why he farted''?. really??? So what should I do? Am I a teacher? Sort out your problems and leave me out of it.

call it empathy or whatever.... i can"t be bothered.

7). Can’t you wait a moment?

Do you really have to use the lavatory right now? While we’re struggling with a heavy food cart down the aisle?

you really want me to pull this cart back? it won't happen

8). Take note of what is happening around you.

If you hear us calling for the attention of a medical doctor, or see us running around with oxygen and first aid kits, it’s not the right time to ask for water, and it’s also not the time for you to come do your eyewitness thing. Remain seated we would let you know when we need audience.  Thank you.

9). Pay attention to your child/children

If you’re travelling with a small child and you keep hearing chimes, please ensure it’s not your child that is playing with the cabin crew call buttons. Also take note:  The safety information cards in the seat pocket are not toys and please try not mess up your area with snacks or whatever

ladies and gentleman on the right side of the aircraft is the city of ....WHATTTTT???

10) It’s just an aircraft toilet, nothing more, nothing less.

The lavatory door is not rocket science. Just push it!

aha! that''s the "push here"... i told you, its not rocket science

11). We don’t own a stationery shop

If you’re traveling overseas, do yourself a favour and bring a pen for those immigration forms. Yes I have a few, but I can’t carry 100!

12) Be mindful of your condition

For example: Don’t check-in your inhaler into the cargo hold if you are asthmatic, always have it on you, don’t struggle for the exit row seat if you are obese…. Unless of course you want me to use our famous lie to get you off the seat “sorry sir/ma, we don’t allow the use of extension seat belts on exit row seats thank you.” lol

....have a memorable flight, madam.

13). Politeness goes a long way

‘Please’ and ‘thank you’ would get you the best of everything onboard the aircraft any day, anytime. Really is it that difficult to say hello and goodbye? We say it uncountable times on every flight and only a handful of people respond. Why?

 ...or starve.

14) Listen.

Me: Would you like rice or pasta ma’am, ma’am: chips will be fine. Chips??? Really??? Did you just hear me say chips?  Or are you just trying to annoy me?

15) Ask sensible questions

Passenger:  why can’t I see blue skies? The last time I flew to the US I saw blue sky, when I flew to Australia I saw blue sky, on my way back from Singapore I saw blue sky. So why can’t I see blue sky on your flight?  Crew: (talks within himself) Mr world traveller, we know this your tactics, but I can assure you that the beautiful lady seating beside you is still not impressed, so keep looking for blue skies.